The first rule of a gunfight is to have a gun. But if you absolutely can’t have a gun, then having some less effective weapon is better than having no weapon at all. Of course, most of our “gun free” universities are also “weapon free” universities. But there are weapons, and there are weapons. A car, for example, has the potential to be a deadly weapon– but universities tend not to ban those. What anti-weapon policies prohibit are things that are designed to be weapons: guns, swords, fighting knives. What that leaves us with is improvised weaponry. An improvised weapon is something that is not made to be a weapon, but if used as a weapon, would be more effective than your bare hands. Baseball bats, kitchen knives, pocket knives (by which I mean a folding knife with a blade of less than four inches), hammers, screwdrivers, sharp scissors, pens, pencils, and heavy duty flashlights (like a 4 D-cell Maglite) are all examples of improvised weapons.
Of course, not all improvised weapons are suitable for carry in the classroom. Pens, pencils, and scissors will probably be the most suitable. Pocket knives and Maglite flashlights will generally be acceptable, but may get you in trouble with the more draconian school administrations. Overall, the best compromise between political correctness and effectiveness is probably a sturdy pair of pointed scissors with blades of at least three inches and a handle you can get a good grip on in reverse grip (sometimes called the “icepick grip”, where the blade protrudes from the bottom of your fist). Carry one in your backpack, purse, or briefcase.
Pepper spray, while designed to be a weapon, is nonlethal and therefore permitted by almost all universities. Get one that has a range of at least 12 feet. Range is useless when dealing with a mugger, but could be the difference between life and death when dealing with a school shooter. Practice firing a can of pepper spray at least once before carrying it, and replace a can every one or two years (all aerosol cans slowly leak, this causes the range to decrease). Pepper spray should never be counted on to stop an attacker. Its purpose is to partially blind an attacker from a distance, giving you an opportunity to then do something to stop the attack.
Scissors and pepper spray. Will you still wish you had a gun if your school becomes the next Virginia Tech or NIU? Yeah. But caught between oppressive administrators and murderous psychopaths, we have little choice but to make the best out of a bad situation.
Going off on a somewhat relevant tangent, the weapons of Okinawan Karate are the result of political oppression. Forbidden by the Japanese to own swords, the Okinawans practiced self-defense with rice flails, sickles, and poles used to carry buckets of water. The names of these farming implements are, respectively: the nunchaku, the kama, and the bo.
